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The fallacy of the supermom: Moms are tired

by Pamela Madonsela
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From being labelled supermoms to multi-taskers, the truth is that mothers are tired, and it is okay to feel that way.

With working from home introduced at the peak of COVID-19 in 2020, we would have thought that mothers would have more time to themselves, yet that is impossible. Moms were still juggling work, preparing kids for school, and other house chores on that to-do list.

Because of this, it is normal for one to feel exhausted and become the grumpiest person around the house. And with toddler moms, the work doubles up, and you always need to be on high alert with them around. 

Yes, moms can have helpful partners, but that does not change the fact that mothers are tired. 

As a mom, time to yourself is leisure because even taking an evening bath is a mission. You are either being followed by tiny humans or getting knocks on the door with demands or endless questions from your children. If not the kids, your partner is asking where you placed his socks.

The operative word is “his”. 

Emotional exhaustion takes its toll on the mother and the entire family.

For those who live with their partners, this can also take a great toll on the relationship. You wouldn’t have the quality time needed with your partner since you are always busy.

On top of that, you fall asleep whilst putting your children to bed. This is a reality many women face, and it should be okay to acknowledge the fatigue and admit the struggles to cope.  

We all know that a happy mom equals a happy home, right? 

Here are a few tips to help ease the burden of the supermom:

Normalise receiving support

After carrying and birthing little humans, moms have no further point to prove. So let go of the narrative that you have to figure things out and do them on your own.

If you have people around you who are willing to assist, do not feel bad to ask or receive help. You need all the support you can get. Be it from friends, family, or a helper to come to your house a few times a week to help you handle the load. 

It really does take a community to raise children. Tap into your community. 

Communicate and voice out your concerns

Your partner might not be aware that you are drained because society is programmed to believe that women can juggle everything. You must make your family aware that you are running on empty when you are.

If your concerns are not communicated, it leads to a lot of resentment. The resentment is self-inflicted because your partner is not a mind reader. 

The other benefit of communication is how it creates an environment for formulating solutions. 

For example, in our house, we have resorted to getting someone who will assist in the house and come in three times a week. I believe this will allow me to focus more on other things knowing that most of the housework is taken care of. 

Prioritise “me time”

We cannot stress this enough; Your family needs the best version of you, and it is high time that moms prioritise time for themselves. It is important to realize that your well-being matters too. This will allow them to be refreshed and it doesn’t have to cost you that much.

Even an hour in the bathtub with soothing music can do wonders. You work so hard, and you need to take a breather. The kids can do without mommy for that little time you dedicate to yourself. 

Whatever “me time” looks like for you, do it.

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