Falling pregnant seems like a simple enough task, right? Truth is, when you’re in the thick of things, regardless of how long you’ve been trying, it’s a completely different story.
From the notes below, it might seem that I’ve gone a little bit crazy, but let me put your minds at ease. I haven’t … yet. But these are just some of the things that I have thought about and a few of the emotions that I’ve felt during this time of what feels like limbo.
- You realise that (wow!) you really should have paid more attention in biology. You have to re-educate yourself about all of that ovulation, fertile period business and how many days apart everything is. It’s quite something!
- On the topic of ovulation – this becomes the most important day of the month, followed closely by the three days before and after. You make sure that you don’t have plans that will last all day or night and that no one is travelling during this time. These days/nights/afternoons are strictly for baby-making.
- Does tilting your pelvis upwards after sex really work? You aren’t sure, but you try to think of ways to make this look sexy. And fail. Nothing can make this look sexy.
- You very quickly realise that it was a hell of a lot cheaper to not fall pregnant than to fall pregnant. The average cost of supplements is R600 – to boost fertility and your body’s baby-making skills.
- Don’t forget ovulation tests…
- And the many pregnancy tests you will buy for every sudden change of mood or sudden onset of tiredness you may have.
- If like me, you are crazy, you will download P Tracker or a similar app. And, of course, you become obsessed, tracking every possible thing that can be tracked and making notes left, right and centre. “Thursday: left boob ached, Friday: intimate, new pimple on cheek”.
- You start Googling things like Shettles method and Ramzi theory, just in case they turn out to be legit.
- Oh, also Clomid. You Google the living daylights out of that and wonder if your gynae would agree to putting you on the miracle drug.
- Everyone around you will fall pregnant – at least that’s what it feels like.
- You get annoyed by your partner. Why aren’t they talking about the baby as much as you are? Are they not in the same boat as you? Where is this relationship going? Should you prepare yourself to be a single mother? Note – the baby in question has not even been conceived yet.
- Did I mention, you tend to overreact about silly things (like the above), which immediately makes you think you may be pregnant and you rush to do a test.
- You feel devastated when “that time of the month” swings by just like normal. Not this month then I guess… sigh.
- You watch the YouTube video “The Business of Being Born” and swear that you will have a 100% natural birth. Epidurals and C-sections are from the devil! Then you get period pain and you rethink your decision.
- You cut out alcohol and start to opt for decaf (goodbye sanity) … just in case …
- Every now and then you start to feel silly for planning and obsessing over this child that still needs to be created – but you can’t help it, you’re just so damn excited.
- So often people talk about being pregnant and what you experience during that time, and of course after pregnancy. I never really gave a second thought about what trying to conceive a child might do to my emotions and thoughts. Of course, it’s a completely personal journey that I’m sure differs from person to person and couple to couple.
“I never really gave a second thought about what trying to conceive a child might do to my emotions and thoughts.”
I have learnt that there’s no use stressing about it; do what makes you feel happy. It’s an exciting time and you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. Everything happens in its own time and while I had to learn to be content in that, it wasn’t an easy lesson to learn!
The original version of this article can be found on Mascara & Mimosas.
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